The Two Dollar Project

“I can show you how to use the ATM.”

A new trend at the bank where I do most of my business is to eliminate the role of the teller. As banking becomes ever more digital, the bank is eliminating in-person positions. At many branches, one of the bankers will leave his office or cubical to step behind the counter when a teller is needed. A request for a banker to act as a teller elicits the question, “You know that you can do that with the ATM, right?” Well, unfortunately, I can’t ask the ATM for $2 notes.

Entered the bank intending to make a cash withdraw:

Greeter: “How can we help you today?”
Me: “I just need to make a withdraw.”
Greeter: “Do you have your ATM card with you?”
Me: “Yes, but I prefer to do my banking in person.”
Greeter: “Oh, because I can show you how to use the ATM. It will be a bit of a wait at the counter, and this ATM has large bills.”
Me: “Ok, thanks.”

Walked to another branch where there are still tellers to withdraw the $100:

Received along with in the notes: Eight $1 coins (Washington, Polk, Hayes, Sacagawea (4), Anthony)

Teller: “If you are ever near the train station, the machines there give dollar coins as change.”

You want these?

Several years ago, it came to light that the Washington Wizards had banned Caron Butler from drinking Mountain Dew. Butler claims that during his college basketball career, he would drink two liters of Mountain Dew every game. One liter before, one liter at halftime. The Wizards, apparently, thought that consuming over 15 cups of sugar at a time was not something that professional athletes should do. So they said he couldn’t have any more. This made plenty of extra fridge for carrots or whatever, since Butler had previously kept 6 refrigerators stocked with the stuff!

Disturbing as his habit was, I rather looked up to Caron Butler after I learned this. If he could drink that much Mountain Dew and still be a professional basketball player, I could put terrible things in my body and still be able to be a success. When I played rugby, I often had McDonalds for breakfast on game day. It sounds like an awful plan, and it probably was, but it worked out alright. I never noticed any adverse effects on my performance.

My rugby days are behind me, it seems. But recognizing the similarity between rugby and test-taking, I opted for McDonalds breakfast before a recent exam:

Price: $6 and change

Paid: One $10 note

Change: Included three $1 coins (Johnson, Monroe, Adams)

Response: The cashier went to make change but found that she only had a single $1 note. “Hold on, I need to get more ones.” Noticing that there were $1 coins in the register, I said that I would take my change in coins. “You sure you want that many coins?” she asked. I said that coins were fine. She started to count out quarters. “No,” I said, “I meant dollar coins,” and I pointed to the appropriate compartment of the drawer. “Oh,” she said, “you want these?” She looked at the three $1 coins carefully before handing them over.